::FITS::

Why does it feel like the room is spinning around/

Why is everything out of my control even when not allowed/

Cover my eyes and forget what the doubt is/

But the truth speaks the loudest…

So the downfall is that of the proudest/

I stood to think about this…

As the struggles mounted/

And to all my blessings that have been wrongfully counted/

Enemies that’ve been ousted/

That’s in the past and I’m more now’ish/

The wise hear the whispers clearly as if they were loudly sounded/

And my positives took those negatives and had them re-routed/

The scene clouded/

Beliefs and all about it/

Disappeared like fears with clear announcements/

I am here… I can no longer be taken down since/

I changed my mentalities outfit/

And put out what no longer now fits. 

::ANEW::

I guess all this time of 35 I’ve been blinded/Timely reminded of all my loses that left me hind sighted/

Haters should like this… Born agains should be behind this/

They say catch your epiphany or live forever timeless/

Caught up in a loss of words but I’ve never been that mindless/

See life is nothing but learning lessons/

Either you make change or make less efforts/

Some rise and some crumble from the pressures/

And my resolve is being measured by a few of the evil and clever/

I guess it’s a never ending story in the world today/

Sometimes my fear of conflict disrupts what I really wanna say/

Sometimes I’m near to contradict such of really living this way/

Maybe my so called perfection has already gone astray/

Or maybe I was never perfect…

And so my mistakes have been paid/

And if they would have stayed along with those who I’ve engaged/

I wonder if my life would even be the same/

But your either moving forward or trying to explain/

And everything happens for a reason but some reasons haven’t been redeemed/

And reality is some people are just as lost as me/

What’s the percentage of that win loss ratio and is it costly/

But chicks be bossy and dudes be saucy/

And being alone seems the only way to avoid these people trying to off me/

It’s all me…

And all I read now is actions you can keep your dictionary/

I see it all and call it like it is and that’s no game like pictionary/

I guess all that the world made me was a visionary/

And what I’m seeing in the world is really scaring me/

They used to say I was arrogant and more or less extravagant/

Passive aggressive bad temper but know how to manage it/

Good hearted, honest and trustworthy but they took advantage/

And so now my anger is my joy because they know now I won’t have it/

Appreciative and grateful if I have it because I know it can be a had it/

Listen to all because I know we all have our own madness/

And I understand that most of all we try to mask it/

But I always been the type that all you have to do is ask it/

Because I can only shine like my God if I come open handed/

But even I have limits and limits have certain tactics/

And I am certainly in control of a life that’s so frantic/

Surrounded by the ill minded and the manic/

Survivor of it all and walked out unscathed when it mattered…/

And that made me all that I am when my time comes and they ask if/

The sky above tells all tales and your truth/

That’s why I look up and smile through the pain and never confuse/

My journey has been filled with the win and lose/

Crossing different paths and got lost on a few/

But I found my way… And now my road is anew. 

::WORTH KNOWING::

We grew up only like a few miles apart/

But I took that deceit straight to the heart/

Where we start sometimes is where we end/

But then again I valued you as my friend/

How can you mend something completely dissociated/

I guess I didn’t know you… 

I didn’t know your hatred/

For all I loved and kept sacred/

Who’d a knew you was on some fake shit/

Had me thinking like Liam in Taken/

How do you forgive the unforsaken/

I guess true actions a leave you awakened/

Still got me shaken thinking about our past results/

But that’s in the past and that’s lost hopes/

Humans are simple until it’s pain left to cope/

You can either let it go…

Or let it all sink in and soak/

Friends ain’t always friends just so you know/

But if you people you people and you already know/

I’m stand up…

and most of y’all know the length to where I’m ready to go/

What’s love… Love is how much your willing to show/

It’s not a give and take…

But some are willing to try to take it all/

Phone number ain’t change… 

Guess apologies aren’t worth a call/

And after time goes by the worth drops to an all time low/

And this ain’t specific to one but more or less a few/

Exes… Brothers… Supposed day 1’s that you thought were crew/

Loyalty is extinct and honestly honesty isn’t worth the truth/

I rather a real hard loss than a fake sideways truce/

And for that… Many got the deuce/

I choose to be who I choose to be… 

So these fallen masks ain’t new to me/

True colors… I seen true brothers and true lovers become true suckers/

What’s life to you… Being fake? 

Just watch what you do to others/

Cause karma isn’t a close friend I wish on another/

But that’s another…/

I’m a still eat… And that’s all day supper/

I can’t believe those who wanna see me suffer/

For the love of no love and for the greed of numbers/

Rest in peace to those ego’s in great numbers/

I’m doing great and that’s in no way to throw it in the face of others/

But y’all prayed on my downfall and I rose up above and kept going/

Not that it matters but it’s worth knowing/

Question is…were you worth knowing. 

::ADDICT::

Trips of going no place like home

Now the worlds your only scapegoat

And I know your pain runs deep

Through endless nights of no sleep

Your body’s calling for another hit

Leaving love heartbroken and sick

You didn’t think about the damage

Reality gone and no way to manage

Addicted to the thought

It has your mind out of control

Out of line and trying to hold

Grasping onto a fantasy you only know

I can sense when your coming down

Is the room spinning round and round

Would you rather steal our happiness 

Do you even know what your habit is

You have a love for what you know

The higher you get the less you wanna go

I see you lost your soul in the smoke

You gave up hope a long time ago

Addicted to the thought

It has your mind out of control

Out of line and trying to hold

Grasping onto a fantasy you only know

Where does it take you

Does it make or break you

Is it reality or just a fake view

Why are you running…

Where does it take you

Addicted to mistakes too

::LOST US::

Oh and I realize

That I am the only one

And if we start from here

Why I do feel like we’ve already begun

And it would only take us two

Just to make it through

Just promise me one thing

I don’t wanna be nobodies fool

Caught up 

All in this lost love

All in this lost love

What did it cost love

And now it just lost us

While I’m closing eyes

And retracing thoughts

Knowing those lies

Trying to escape that loss

See real love never exists

They say it’s too good to be true

But if you had one last wish

What would you exactly do

Caught up 

All in this lost love

All in this lost love

What did it cost love

And now it just lost us

No maps

It’s just a one way road

No coming back

Now your someone I used to know

Where do we go

Where do we go

I though you knew

When nobody knows 

::I SEEK::

Dear Lord I know better days are on there way/

For those that hurt me… it’s for those I pray/

I can’t ever say I’ve been mistake free/

But from all this pain and jealousy…

They must have mistaken me/

Not crying casualty of heartbreak…

But look where love has taken me/

Life has shaken me…awakened me… Hastily… But it’s never hate I see/

My heart is great and I can’t wait to reach/

Those in my condition I can’t wait to teach/ 

And though my imperfections are in no way to preach/

It’s only right I forgive and turn the other cheek/

For anger and hatred are learned by the weak/

And it’s only a higher spiritual growth I seek. 

::COMMON::

I’ve had loved ones say it’s going to be ok/

Turn their backs on me…

so somehow I have learned my way/

Burned a trail of lies…

So what’s the truth in the words they say/

Like who’s going to be there on your worst of days/

Are your accomplishments worth their praise/

Who’ll be there when you fall and are somewhat afraid/

Who’ll stop to grab your arm like a champions raised/

Look around and ask yourself who’s down till the grave/

Forgiveness in their hearts with humility and grace/

Who understands perfection is an impossible place/

And finding those that are is an unreachable chase/

Who’s real who’s fake… 

Who’s a learning lesson waiting to be replaced/

Do their actions match the words coming out their face/

Friends out of convenience unproven till this date/

Understand theirs but do they see your pain/

Or maybe they don’t have to but who should explain/

People change and that’s evolution who can stay the same/

People change…

Some evil, what’s the solution for what’s on their brain/

How much is too much or should we stay in our lane/

Stand and watch from afar or jump on that train/

Stay quiet or be there time after time and again/

Do I have have to prove my loyalty for you to be my friend/

Do I have to shed blood and tears will you love me then/

Will you understand my deepness… Will you comprehend/

Or should I walk alone… For we all must meet this common end.