I didn’t love you just to say I loved you/
See It’s that past tense type of thinking that’ll haunt you/
Comparable to constant problems that are upon you/
Promises I didn’t comprehend till the dotted end/
It’s gotta end…
I lost a lot of pride and a lot of friends/
Whether it was plotted or you thought it obvious/
I could never see where your logic is/
Or logic was/
And no I’m not bitter anymore but I probably was/
The problem was/
We evolved from love/
But our love had dissolved from us each passing month/
And so I’m passing months walking amongst/
These feelings of distrust and disgust/
Though I’m asked to constantly discuss/
It’s like every passing day I couldn’t give a fuck/
I guess that’s my luck to give it my all and get stuck with the bill/
This heartbreak wasn’t me seeking my thrill/
Still being real isn’t enough for the flesh to feel/
Couldn’t drown out your sorrows with a pill/
Those demons that made you ill/
Took me and my dreams and threw them out the window sill/
Hoping things would change and we could build/
Turned to me running away from something I could no longer deal/
Didn’t jump till I was on my heels…
Just so you know I will never heal/
And on that note… Love life sealed.


I knew I couldn’t save the world/
I just knew I couldn’t save this girl/
And you were a pearl somewhere in a shell trapped/
A life of pain…
I guess that’s all we could attract/
And that’s a fact and I guess were so much alike/
But different in many ways I guess I just saw the light/
I couldn’t write about it cause I’ll never understand it/
Apologize for what he did that led to that bad habit/
You came 15 years too late for me to grasp it/
And my empathy and understanding were no source of magic/
In fact it… Left me with much of your damage/
No panic… I been here before and reached up to be alive/
To be in life with your condition…
A damaged vision/
But you can’t self medicate a traumatic living/
I hate them all for putting you in this position/
I can’t imagine your inner demons telling you to listen/
And I know now it really wasn’t truly your decision/
I’m thinking you think I was always ready to fold/
But you should know your mistakes will rest in my soul/
Life takes a toll on each of us so we must forgive/
For most of us life was stole before we could really live/
Delirium and psychosis/
Depression and losing all your focus/
No hope for loving the hopeless/
Lost souls seeking revenge from the soulless/
Trying to find redemption in the high of the dope biz/
Maybe your reincarnation will leave you so bliss/
And I know in that next lifetime we can be just know this/
May the Angels of The Lord protect us and show this/
I was wrong but I know I couldn’t belong and that’s why I wrote this/
Just another tattoo on shoulders.


When people assume it’s only because they fear the truth/
I guess my words are my actions…
See all that it’s lead me to/
Clawing tooth and nail in a world where I’m destined to fail/
Dreaming every night on when these dreams a set sail/
We all have our tales I’m just best to describe mine/
I’m sure we all have pain in our lives… Just look at my lines/
Tough times in rough rhymes patterned behind emotional crimes/
I was designed a little different/
I’ve come a long way from being a misfit/
But it’s that childhood I think back to and I miss it/
The innocence is long place away and too far to visit/
Listen… My imperfections make me perfect for me/
But again nothing is perfect no matter how hard you believe/
We… Can be betrayed and deceived by the ones we need/
Truth indeed… Life longs can become for life gone/
I guess we can let bygones be bygones/
But really who is the judge of our right and wrongs/
I’m not trying to write a song but a symphony of life/
And I’m not looking for pity or validation in anyone’s eyes/
Because they wish for your pain through their sympathy of lies/
And I’ve cried a million rain storms sitting alone/
And I’ve been a shoulder for tears to rain on/
I’ve been the consoled and consoler/
I guess if you understand their pain it makes you tougher/
More so to a stranger than a sister or brother/
I take cover in solitude at times to hide from reality/
Because I could never imagine all this sadness and tragedy/
But I learned in hugs they were backstabbing me/
And I held on tighter to them…Don’t be mad at me/
Don’t be sad for me… Be happy for me actually/
Because nobody fake could ever pass for me/
And my past is my past so don’t ask if this love will last in me/
Cause I’m standing tall in the face of blasphemy/
With no hate in my heart so I know I’m living passionately.


35 years and I’m right here
Through the wrongs and the rights here
Through every single word that I write here
Through the darkness and what I might fear
Through the shine of my soul and the light here
Feelings expressed and though they might hear
Had a few backs turned thought they might care
Still believing in my dreams after a few nightmares
So I still put all my hope in my days and my nights there
Still talking to The Lord and I know that Christ’s here
Keeping me strong through the cries here
Keeping me where I belong away from the lies here
Circle getting smaller with people falling out of my sphere
But it’s 35 years and I’m right here and I’ll make it quite clear
No matter what happens good or bad I’m truly alive here.


Do I know what love is
The high of what that drug is
Hurt more than once before this
but I dug deep
Yes I know what it all means
To start over and overcome faults
To reveal deep concerns from a vault
Can’t conceal dreams of any sort
How long can this great applaud last
How can you balance the true task
Of giving up yourself for what they ask
How to put the past to rest and forget
For even a true love broken can’t be a regret
A lesson learnt and a must to accept
Understanding it’s impossible to protect
The open threat of falling for a damaged soul
Getting destroyed deep down by the viciously cold
And rising again…
Because love is all you want to know.