::CHANGE::

I can still hear your voice

Messages on my phone

Crowded subway cars but I’m alone

It always seems I’m far from home

Passing under street lights

Where we paused to see life

9th Street in a history we can’t rewrite

How does it feel

What if our could have

Could have been everything

Would you have changed it all

Would you have changed it all

Would you have changed it at all

Bus rides going crosstown

Never been here before I’m lost now

Between heartbreak avenue

And losing it all just to have you

And I never fell so hard

And i’ve never felt so odd

But I jumped on with nowhere to go

But I just want to know

How does it feel

What if our could have

Could have been everything

Would you have changed it all

Would you have changed it all

Would you have changed it at all

Seasons change

And people change

It all seems so strange

Just your reasons to blame

Can’t believe you’re the same

Can’t believe you’re the same

I though you were my change

::MEMORIES::

I guess it’s my downfall

Surrounded by pain again

Cries unheard and I say

Will I ever find my way

Closing doors and throwing keys away

Will this be our last day

Memories that won’t fade

Memories that won’t fade

Why do they always stay

Why do they always stay

When they leave and it’s too late

Climbing walls with no end

Desperately hoping to speak

The light dims and the room

Goes dark just as I assumed

Rushed in love and it ends soon

Trapped in these thoughts are cruel

Memories that won’t fade

Memories that won’t fade

Why do they always stay

Why do they always stay

When they leave and it’s too late

You got exactly all you needed

My hearts stories won’t exceed it

When they ask for all this pain

Just know the memories remain

The kisses that won’t ever return

Thinking of all these lessens learned

Memories that last forever

Can’t erase what we had together

When even illusions seem real

There just memories that we’ll always feel

::HOW MUCH DOES LOVE COST::

How much does love really cost

The goodness of me that’s continuously lost?

Between the lies and illusions of thoughts

Is it normal that this pain is my source

Or is it overthinking and non conclusive

Attracting partners that have been abusive

Trading in the selfless for the selfish

Believing it was heaven but it was hellish

Isolated from the world I could tell this

Wasn’t what I needed

Blinded from the truth I couldn’t see it

Yearning for that love I could feel it

Given to me in increments before once again being defeated

I couldn’t leave it because I believed if

In my loneliness

Look, I know the risk

Of the self worth crumbling in hopelessness

The evil had me addicted till my high was over with

I couldn’t live and the reality is

I kicked the habit of it

False love that was action less

I had only learned a fraction of it

The heartbreak of being passionate

The toxic was as eye opening as it was hazardous

And when you realize just ask yourself this…

How much love really cost?

::ALARM::

These time tables

Of spinning clocks and hour glasses

Who was able

To see our memories go the fastest

Wondering if it’s right to ask this

Of how you consumed

This unknown of calm

I didn’t know your doom

Till you set off the alarm

Waking up

Turning and tossing in this bed

My life taken abrupt

These thoughts buried in my head

Thinking of all the painful things said

Of how you consumed

This unknown of calm

I didn’t know your doom

Till you set off the alarm

All I wanted

I can’t believe this can’t be simple

It’s become obvious

Couldn’t straighten out all the wrinkles

And it’s been too much to think through

Of how you consumed

This unknown of calm

I didn’t know your doom

Till you set off the alarm

And I’m awake…

And I’m awake…

No need to rock me back to sleep

I see it all now the dream was deep

The difference between reality and fantasy