::WORTH::

Perfection slighted
Indecision tonight is 
Highlighted 

Waiting out this sunrise

Is it us or is it just sometimes

I can feel out all of these lies 
The truth hurts 

It’s true if it works 

For what it’s worth

Is it worthless to us
Fact or fiction 

All of this friction 

Depictions

Lost in not truly living 

Is it us or is it just us not giving

I can feel all of this here sitting
The truth hurts 

It’s true if it works 

For what it’s worth

Is it worthless to us
All of these lies

All of these facts 

All of these lies 

All of these facts 

Is it too much to ask

Is it too much to ask

To whom must I give thanks 

When everyone is shooting blanks 

::DREAM AWAKE::

  

Cutting across all of my losses 

Winning no matter what the cost is

Lost in daydreams that turned reality

The world stopped spinning off my gravity

Actually where my minds whirlwind begins

Is in between all of the good and the sins

Where my kin showed up more water than blood

Hard to believe there was more hate than love

Still I see the clouds above changing shape

Was it me or the dreams keeping me awake

::DEAF EARS::

  

I see dark clouds engaged in brightness

I guess this is what they say the fight is

Taking positives over all of those minuses

Nomad for years I’m settling with pioneers

Tears dried up since the cries disappeared

Looking for love to devour all of my fears 

Falling from the sky upon many deaf ears. 

::THOUGHTS::

  
I’m taking in all of these moments

Spotlighting this time with focus

As deep as where my zone is

They say the heart is where the home is

So why have I been wandering homeless

I heard of love but it appeared to be just voices

Where I learned love overcomes fear is just part of our choices. 

::WRITE::

  

Solitude has nurtured after taking a toll

From heartbreaks that tortured my soul

Godly beliefs that my someday will come

And the pain and memories no longer run

Deep inside my mind with regrets I find 

I’m crossing the line searching for a sign

That life is love and this love is for life 

When righting my wrongs isn’t enough to write. 

::ASK FOR LOVE::

Say your prayers/

For the naysayers/

And the haters/

Don’t forget your neighbors/

Who wish for your failures/

Oh you should get your mind off/

Now they say your minds lost/

Watching till your time exhausts/

So tell me how much a rewind costs/

So I can go back and tell y’all to get lost/

Oh you’re such a jerk now, such an asshole/

I’m deep into my work now, cash roll/

You used to be important in a past role/

Now you’re exhausted news, way past old/

You’ll always have a good hand and fold/

Me I’ll play the cards dealt and never hold/

Your Groundhog Day will ruin your soul/

Round and round till you waste your life away/

Guess we can’t all make these changes/

But don’t include me, I make statements/

I won’t include you, I made arrangements/

New world, New life, and I had to rearrange shit/

Just think of me as special operative or secret agent/

But it’s not a secret that these feelings are aging/

I got tired of being pushed around taken advantage of/

While everyone came up empty when I asked for love. 

::HEARTS POUNDING::

So everybody’s perfect/

I guess now it’s all worth it/

Tell me how’s it working/

Oh child you’re still searching/

Heard you were asking/

Heard you were lacking/

Self love and emotional passion/

I’m aggressive yet passive/

Still stuck yet past this/

Absolutely changed…

Yea I bet you can’t imagine/

Turned so cold and savage/

I’m so cold, lost with no salvage/

Now all I care about is my outfits/

Only stick to what now fits/

And I change often get put out quick/

Yea, It’s quiet now, no more loudness/

Excluded you and all who doubt this/

No more keeping me down bitch/

I guess I might see you around bitch/

I don’t talk like this but my mouth switched/

Is it the pain that makes you sound selfish/

Or the experience of what your hell now is/

Maybe you’re confusing all this foulness/

Surrounded by adults acting so childish/

So far, it’s so hard, to walk away, these miles is/

Milestones as high as some mountains/

Turn back to my youth without fountains/

Put me in deep water and told me to now swim/

Gave me heartbreaks and told me to now think/

Gave me heartbreaks but I’m still alive…

Hearts pounding. 

::MY LIFE::

When people assume it’s only because they fear the truth/
I guess my words are my actions…
See all that it’s lead me to/
Clawing tooth and nail in a world where I’m destined to fail/
Dreaming every night on when these dreams a set sail/
We all have our tales I’m just best to describe mine/
I’m sure we all have pain in our lives… Just look at my lines/
Tough times in rough rhymes patterned behind emotional crimes/
I was designed a little different/
I’ve come a long way from being a misfit/
But it’s that childhood I think back to and I miss it/
The innocence is long place away and too far to visit/
Listen… My imperfections make me perfect for me/
But again nothing is perfect no matter how hard you believe/
We… Can be betrayed and deceived by the ones we need/
Truth indeed… Life longs can become for life gone/
I guess we can let bygones be bygones/
But really who is the judge of our right and wrongs/
I’m not trying to write a song but a symphony of life/
And I’m not looking for pity or validation in anyone’s eyes/
Because they wish for your pain through their sympathy of lies/
And I’ve cried a million rain storms sitting alone/
And I’ve been a shoulder for tears to rain on/
I’ve been the consoled and consoler/
I guess if you understand their pain it makes you tougher/
More so to a stranger than a sister or brother/
I take cover in solitude at times to hide from reality/
Because I could never imagine all this sadness and tragedy/
But I learned in hugs they were backstabbing me/
And I held on tighter to them…Don’t be mad at me/
Don’t be sad for me… Be happy for me actually/
Because nobody fake could ever pass for me/
And my past is my past so don’t ask if this love will last in me/
Cause I’m standing tall in the face of blasphemy/
With no hate in my heart so I know I’m living passionately.

::HERE::

35 years and I’m right here
Through the wrongs and the rights here
Through every single word that I write here
Through the darkness and what I might fear
Through the shine of my soul and the light here
Feelings expressed and though they might hear
Had a few backs turned thought they might care
Still believing in my dreams after a few nightmares
So I still put all my hope in my days and my nights there
Still talking to The Lord and I know that Christ’s here
Keeping me strong through the cries here
Keeping me where I belong away from the lies here
Circle getting smaller with people falling out of my sphere
But it’s 35 years and I’m right here and I’ll make it quite clear
No matter what happens good or bad I’m truly alive here.

::LOVE IS ALL::

Do I know what love is
The high of what that drug is
Hurt more than once before this
but I dug deep
Yes I know what it all means
To start over and overcome faults
To reveal deep concerns from a vault
Can’t conceal dreams of any sort
How long can this great applaud last
How can you balance the true task
Of giving up yourself for what they ask
How to put the past to rest and forget
For even a true love broken can’t be a regret
A lesson learnt and a must to accept
Understanding it’s impossible to protect
The open threat of falling for a damaged soul
Getting destroyed deep down by the viciously cold
And rising again…
Because love is all you want to know.