::ASK FOR LOVE::

Say your prayers/

For the naysayers/

And the haters/

Don’t forget your neighbors/

Who wish for your failures/

Oh you should get your mind off/

Now they say your minds lost/

Watching till your time exhausts/

So tell me how much a rewind costs/

So I can go back and tell y’all to get lost/

Oh you’re such a jerk now, such an asshole/

I’m deep into my work now, cash roll/

You used to be important in a past role/

Now you’re exhausted news, way past old/

You’ll always have a good hand and fold/

Me I’ll play the cards dealt and never hold/

Your Groundhog Day will ruin your soul/

Round and round till you waste your life away/

Guess we can’t all make these changes/

But don’t include me, I make statements/

I won’t include you, I made arrangements/

New world, New life, and I had to rearrange shit/

Just think of me as special operative or secret agent/

But it’s not a secret that these feelings are aging/

I got tired of being pushed around taken advantage of/

While everyone came up empty when I asked for love. 

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::HEARTS POUNDING::

So everybody’s perfect/

I guess now it’s all worth it/

Tell me how’s it working/

Oh child you’re still searching/

Heard you were asking/

Heard you were lacking/

Self love and emotional passion/

I’m aggressive yet passive/

Still stuck yet past this/

Absolutely changed…

Yea I bet you can’t imagine/

Turned so cold and savage/

I’m so cold, lost with no salvage/

Now all I care about is my outfits/

Only stick to what now fits/

And I change often get put out quick/

Yea, It’s quiet now, no more loudness/

Excluded you and all who doubt this/

No more keeping me down bitch/

I guess I might see you around bitch/

I don’t talk like this but my mouth switched/

Is it the pain that makes you sound selfish/

Or the experience of what your hell now is/

Maybe you’re confusing all this foulness/

Surrounded by adults acting so childish/

So far, it’s so hard, to walk away, these miles is/

Milestones as high as some mountains/

Turn back to my youth without fountains/

Put me in deep water and told me to now swim/

Gave me heartbreaks and told me to now think/

Gave me heartbreaks but I’m still alive…

Hearts pounding. 

::CRUEL INTENSIONS:: 

Living in a world that’s in love with perfection/

Guess I’m the perfect imperfect rejection/

Or maybe I’m looking beyond my reflection/

It’s getting hard to trust one with my essence/

Betrayal of friends and lovers lead to lessons/

As I sit here writing words of my confessions/

Anxiety and overthinking in my every 

session/

It lead me to put lead to paper as my weapon/

A memoir of ill proportions and more tension/

Some things aren’t worth it and or questioned/

For the true colors will show of those with cruel intentions. 

::IN THE CLOUDS::

To know my story

Hold my hand

Through my defeats and glory

To this pain and struggle

To the moments I loved you…

What are these words to me?

What do I mean?

Acknowledgment

You don’t know yet the obvious 

To listen to what the object is

The problem is

Understanding my problem lives

Deep within my soul

No answers 

Questions of growing old

I know to look back you won’t find

What has been in front of you the whole time

My mind flutters like a birds wings

Flying away from the worst things

Guitar strings playing in my background

I finally understand my dad now

Can after can 

Drowning in his and this stress aloud 

Still I’m alive with my head in the clouds. 

::MY LIFE::

When people assume it’s only because they fear the truth/
I guess my words are my actions…
See all that it’s lead me to/
Clawing tooth and nail in a world where I’m destined to fail/
Dreaming every night on when these dreams a set sail/
We all have our tales I’m just best to describe mine/
I’m sure we all have pain in our lives… Just look at my lines/
Tough times in rough rhymes patterned behind emotional crimes/
I was designed a little different/
I’ve come a long way from being a misfit/
But it’s that childhood I think back to and I miss it/
The innocence is long place away and too far to visit/
Listen… My imperfections make me perfect for me/
But again nothing is perfect no matter how hard you believe/
We… Can be betrayed and deceived by the ones we need/
Truth indeed… Life longs can become for life gone/
I guess we can let bygones be bygones/
But really who is the judge of our right and wrongs/
I’m not trying to write a song but a symphony of life/
And I’m not looking for pity or validation in anyone’s eyes/
Because they wish for your pain through their sympathy of lies/
And I’ve cried a million rain storms sitting alone/
And I’ve been a shoulder for tears to rain on/
I’ve been the consoled and consoler/
I guess if you understand their pain it makes you tougher/
More so to a stranger than a sister or brother/
I take cover in solitude at times to hide from reality/
Because I could never imagine all this sadness and tragedy/
But I learned in hugs they were backstabbing me/
And I held on tighter to them…Don’t be mad at me/
Don’t be sad for me… Be happy for me actually/
Because nobody fake could ever pass for me/
And my past is my past so don’t ask if this love will last in me/
Cause I’m standing tall in the face of blasphemy/
With no hate in my heart so I know I’m living passionately.

::HERE::

35 years and I’m right here
Through the wrongs and the rights here
Through every single word that I write here
Through the darkness and what I might fear
Through the shine of my soul and the light here
Feelings expressed and though they might hear
Had a few backs turned thought they might care
Still believing in my dreams after a few nightmares
So I still put all my hope in my days and my nights there
Still talking to The Lord and I know that Christ’s here
Keeping me strong through the cries here
Keeping me where I belong away from the lies here
Circle getting smaller with people falling out of my sphere
But it’s 35 years and I’m right here and I’ll make it quite clear
No matter what happens good or bad I’m truly alive here.

::PEYTON::

Dedicated to the beauty of my past
Knowing in you my future will always last
Young one, I look deep into your eyes
And all I see is myself in disguise
I wonder if your cries are for me
Always beating under the same heartbeat
Your voice sparks up my inner being
I’m here no matter what you’re seeing
And at long last you should know
My heart is everywhere you and I go.

Happy New Year

Just want to wish my fellow writers here on WordPress a Happy New Year and many continued blessings going forward into the new year. I also want to thank all for inspiring me to continue to write. Take care all and be safe!