::JUST A DREAM::

Love lived here once before

Broken now and once my only cure

Though I saw the threat of a broken heart

I blindly accepted and played the part

Revisited knowingly within my innocence

I gave freely and frequently visited

I showered it with hopes of growth 

But lost the words when it spoke

I was turned away, betrayed and strayed 

I was burned in the blaze and stayed

My tears would douse my severe burns

Empty dreams in puddles yearned 

I woke up once and fell back to sleep indeed 

With the belief that love was just a dream. 

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::SOULED IN CURRENCY::

Seeking the higher grounds of truth

Ceilings high as I remove this roof

The sky I praise in a deep blue haze

Continuing clouds seem to surround my ways 

I am scattered thoughts like the seeds I plant

Of memories dressed in fantasy clad

Daydreaming the reversals of fortune

Love has always held me at extortion 

Please accept my relief of brokenness

The hopeless faith of a broken mess

Misunderstood by the selfish and hurtful

The lost soul finally home before curfew 

Escaping the trapped walls of deceit 

From the pain I wasn’t hungry to eat

I am starving for the good of purity

So much that change hasn’t emerged in me

How much is love I ask in certainty?

As priceless as the soul I hold in currency.

This time….

Amazing. Strong. I just had to share.

This  time there  is  no  turning  back,

a  pillar  of  salt  I’d  become  if  I  did  that.

As  water  hits,  my  memory  melting  away,

you  are  not  worth  my  existence…my  stay.

I  scraped  at  the  ground,  as  my  nails  left  their  bed,

bloodied  and  anguished,  as  you  bruised  my  head….

with  promises  broken  and  love  gone  astray,

I’d  soon  find  out,  that  with  my  feelings  I’d  pay.

Crying…as  tears conjoined  dusk  to  dawn,

Virgin  love  used as  your  pathetic  pawn.

I  did  not  know that  I  would  not  be  enough,

my  emotions  became  arrested  and  cuffed.

In  prison  in  thought,  but  physically  free.

This  time around,  no  visitations  with  me.

This  time,  it’s  over….

no  millionth  chances…

no,  next  day  “forgetfulness”,

like  nothing  ever happened.

My  pain  is  still  raw,

my  face  not  yet dry,

but  you  smile  and  call  me  baby,

like your  ways  didn’t  almost  make  me  die.

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::YOU::


You know you are so into you

And this world doesn’t exist

You are so selfish it’s true

I don’t even know why I persist

You don’t even need my fuel 

Yet you drain me of all this 

You swear you’re so cool

Compliments only when you insist

You know how to play the fool

But have a problem with my innocence

You can never ever be so cruel

Yet you leave me with this emptiness 

Its like your always in a constant duel

Till you find I’m at the end of this…

The you you it’s always gotta be you

What about the world I’m so confused

So mentally and physically abused

So ready to walk and unamused

Thinking you won I’m ready to lose

But you… Are you… Pardon the truth

But you don’t make it hard to choose

You make it obvious without the clue 

That it’s you you and always been you

I’m tired of giving and being left in recluse

This wasn’t the you…

That made the we I was hoping to choose

Now I see this is the you…

No way I can get back the time we lose…

Thank…. You. 

::AND SO I WIN::

I’ve seen the darkest of days

And the brightest of these nights 

Hoping it wouldn’t harden my ways

I’m digging deep in what I write


I’ve seen the evils that live within

I saw the good that exists in life

I heard this stress could wear you thin

Hoping there is nothing left for me to sacrifice


I’ve seen the worst in broken souls

Shared time with great individuals

Don’t believe everything you’ve been told

The difference between lies and truth is minimal


I’ve been in a war battling the heart

I’ve been tranquil with peace of mind

I know for every ending there was a start

It’s reality when I’m speaking mine 


I’ve made the greatest of decisions 

And been a casualty of horrid mistakes

All It did was open up my vision

And with that it couldn’t force my ways


I’ve smelled the sweet scent of success

I’ve been at the bottom of them barrels

The battle of giving in to the stress

To standing on top of the world harrowed


I’ve felt dead like those 6 feet deep

Been as alive as a child just conceived

I don’t profess on all that I speak 

But I been through enough to keep this deep


I’ve been nowhere you have been

You have never stepped foot in my shoes

But know that I have never given in 

And so I win… I wasn’t born to lose. 

::LOVE ONLY THE HEAVENS SEE::

My love is pure and unfiltered

The 100% uncut with no fillers

Realer than the reality we live in

Still… No where do I truly fit in

Too trust worthy in a city scarred

True not many understand this heart

It’s hard to be the one forgotten

When your words equaled your promise

To rotten souls who really know no difference

My love is up for a life time sentence

My sentiments expand so negligent

The back seat happiness president

Evident by my hesitance to love again

I’m against losing these heart break settlements

Lonely tenements occupied by the memories

Of constantly losing out of a better me

My pedigree even bedeviled me

At times the voice inside settled me

Only then I knew … 

That my love was the love only the heavens see.

::SELF ESTEEM::

Can you help feed my self esteem 

Ms. front cover girl of my dreams

And make me feel like I’m on the scene

Unblemished and just serene

Glow shine and quite pristine

Validated and ultimately redeemed

No excuses everybody wants me

Like those perfect bodies on the porno screen

Lets talk…I have no idea what you mean

Beautiful like the shallow reflection of the sea

I’ll just turn away and let it be

As long as they give me their jealousy in screams

Like the faces on these fancy movie screens

I wanna be perfection or as close as it seems

I want the world to know the name of my seams

I am a million dollar flaw disguised as flawless

Diamond shining but cubic zirconia price tagged and moral less

Give me get me need me believe me I’m spoiled rich

I want it now and I so insist

But nobody is here to listen and I’m feeling hopeless

Give me a compliment

Tell me I’m heading for prominence

Because I feed off empty promises

Oblivious to the most obvious

Do it now… 

Before I lose all this new found confidence.


Self Esteem. 

::I AM::

This pain is not my derivative

Explained only as my spirit is 

That darkness that was visited 

Do you believe that miracles live?

I am…

A walking ghost of my past

And through tears I laughed

My soul is a comedy at that 

And my stage presence requires

More than just this inner burning fire

Seeking a learning of much higher

Spiritual desires to visualize the liars

Do you believe that miracles conspire?

I am…

The silent question mark of the unanswered

The voice of reason for this anger

The heart beat that doesn’t quite pitter patter 

The one who didn’t matter till morning 

Woke up and wiped away all this mourning

Woke up writing away with this brain storming

Do you believe in miracles forming?

I am…

The cries that fall upon deaf ears

Following the shadow of death for years

Looking back on all the good that disappears

Now I dare ask again if you didn’t hear

As I stand here masked in your fears

Do you believe that miracles are near?

I am…

The beautiful pain

I am…

The unexplained 

I am…

All that remains

I am…

Me. 

::COST AND DEMAND::

A life of cost and demand

So love is lost in this land

And the price has fluctuated

Where the rich of the heart can’t even pay with 

The stress and tears that are forced in payment

So many hard and heartless on the NYC pavement.